advise needed

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Deamond
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advise needed

Postby Deamond » 15 Jan 2014, 01:45

After a 8 year relationship and a 3 year marriage gone that went poly.
I am left battling to keep my house and job,
Im 25 I suffer with ocd pure o hypercondria glaucoma IBS (practically lost an eye to it) and sleeping problems.

I'm a bit of a mess at the moment and drinking and smoking was stepped up due to stress.

Feel like I'm losing my mind and my memory seems to be affected by this.

Kind in a hard place and need some help please.

In a new relationship and and its still tough I'm finding it hard to be from one relationship to enougher and my gf seems to want to move things along fast she's practically moved in.

Problem is she takes it very personally when I object and gets sad and I just cave I cant see someone upset.

I need help to be more organised in my job and my memory isnt helping this.

I need help to get my head sorted cos I'm bouncing off the walls cos of stress and money issues because my soon to be ex wife is making life as hard as possible for me.
The only reason I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep the house is because my mums money is invested in it and its the only thing she has left because my sister conned/fraud her out of her savings.

AND I'M GOING BALD :gloomy:

My patrons are Ceridwen Morrigan and Bridhid if it helps.

Any advise would be most welcome.

Sorry rant over.
We must look to our past to improve our future.

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Paladorys
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Re: advise needed

Postby Paladorys » 15 Jan 2014, 19:00

My goodness. The things we go through on this wacky journey called life eh?

So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Health problems are never helpful either. I can understand the smoking and drinking to deal with the stress, however I would caution that these things are a band aid and not a solution, in fact they can be a very messy band aid that make things much worse. You may find that when the stress is alleviated, the physical symptoms improve or subside entirely.

From what I can tell you are suffering mostly from stress and emotional pain, those things can take a serious toll on your physical health as well. I went through some rough relationship turns and some abuse and let me tell you, I was sick as a dog most of the time and felt like I was quite literally going insane. One time, for no reason at all, in the middle of a street I just locked up the brakes on my car, slammed it into park, got out and started storming away from the car. Given the person who was, at the time, the problem was in the passengers seat and must have set me off somehow. However normally I am not prone to outbursts of unadulterated rage like that.I also spent many nights weeping from the pain of my entrapment, weeping until my eyes ached and I couldn't breathe well because I had inflamed my sinuses horribly.

My point in sharing that is to let you know you are not alone in this world, others have walked the path of pain and difficulty. We have all had rocks in our shoes and thorns in our hands. It is an unfortunate but sometimes necessary part of life.

As for the relationship issues, it sound like you like the new person, but I sort of catch the feeling that you aren't really ready for a new "relationship" yet. This is normal. We all need time to heal before attempting things again. My advice would be do not do anything you don't feel 100% OK with. IMHO If this new gf of yours cannot understand you aren't ready yet and won't give you space, then she clearly has her own troubles to work on, troubles that are not your concern. Don't force yourself into anything and most importantly always love yourself. Take time, even 5 mins every day to stop and count the blessings in your life and be utterly thankful for what you do have that others do not.

When I felt like this my only saviors were music and my gods. Our gods stand with us, so long as we remember to stand.

Since you mentioned Morrigan, a personal favorite....
Hold to what you love and be brave on this battlefield. Perhaps Ask Morrigan to stand by you and allow you her ability to find pleasure in strife, to regenerate from what is trying to suffocate you. Take up those things that harm you and wear them as armor. But mostly I would say, be brave and believe in yourself. I am now standing on the other side of where you are, but I was on that battlefield myself. It gets better, but you have to work at it.

Counseling helped me immensely, it helped to be able to just talk to someone about what was going on and get some help in constructing the life I wanted. You have to find the right counselor for yourself, but for me it was someone who gave me homework and challenged me.

Just remember you don't need to hold on to everything at once, ask yourself whats really important. Visit the safety of your grove often and never be afraid to challenge your own methods of thinking.

Brightest Blessings to you. Feel free to PM if you think there is something you need further from me, I will always stand by my fellows.

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Paladorys
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Re: advise needed

Postby Paladorys » 15 Jan 2014, 19:10

One last thing. Go read (or re-read) Cad Goddeu. It always changes my attitudes somehow each time I read it, and inexplicably something in me is demanding I suggest it. I am not one to argue with inexplicable impulses! :yay:

Here is a link to an English version even. http://www.celtnet.org.uk/texts/llyfr_t ... u_eng.html

If nothing else its something to do besides pay bills or rip your hair out :D

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Deamond
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Re: advise needed

Postby Deamond » 15 Jan 2014, 20:56

thank you so much for replying
I had anougher bad day at work, I just keep making stupid mistakes
We must look to our past to improve our future.

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DaRC
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Re: advise needed

Postby DaRC » 16 Jan 2014, 13:20

And get outside for a walk amongst the trees, the exercise and natural light helps reset your body clock to help with sleep.
Being among the trees helps reduce stress and can bring some perspective to things.
Most dear is fire to the sons of men,
most sweet the sight of the sun;
good is health if one can but keep it,
and to live a life without shame. (Havamal 68)
http://gewessiman.blogspot.co.uk Image

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Paladorys
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Re: advise needed

Postby Paladorys » 16 Jan 2014, 18:25

I had anougher bad day at work, I just keep making stupid mistakes
There is no such thing as a stupid mistake brother. Only a repetitive shouting lesson yet to be learned. I have many such lessons I am still not quite getting.

How can you gain wisdom without many experiences? Good with the bad.

Perhaps you need to spend some time with Gwerse 10 (or thereabouts me thinks cant recall exactly the number) and visit the lake again. Seems like that might help you figure a few things out.

Blessings


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