Prepare to laugh/groan...

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Please check any gloominess at the door and come inside where mirth and merriment abound! This is the place for games, stories, jokes, and general hilarity—just keep it clean, please, and remember, no deep, thought-provoking discussions allowed! Host: Heddwen
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treegod
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Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby treegod » 10 Aug 2012, 16:20

How's your grammar?
Oh she's well, and so's my grandad.

I feel sorry for syllables. One of them always seems to be stressed.

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

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kukl
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby kukl » 10 Aug 2012, 17:16

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. It never really took off.
He was a sod for hoarding things, never threw anything away. Died in the war clutching a hand grenade.
I'll never forget what my old gran said to me before she died. "Oh no, a bus"
:o
And I dreamed I saw the bombers riding shotgun in the sky, and they where turning into butterflies above our nation. Joni Mitchell

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Aphritha
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Aphritha » 10 Aug 2012, 17:50

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?


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Bracken
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Bracken » 10 Aug 2012, 21:25

[The suspenders are killing me.]
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Aphritha
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Aphritha » 10 Aug 2012, 22:49

Where's my tractor!? :grin:


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treegod
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby treegod » 11 Aug 2012, 21:12

It's all gone a bit what's-brown-and-sticky?, hasn't it. :roll: :D

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Bracken
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Bracken » 11 Aug 2012, 22:47

A stick! :D
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DarcArchona
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby DarcArchona » 12 Aug 2012, 04:21

What did the Zero say to the Eight?

Nice Belt.
0....8
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mark the compost elf
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby mark the compost elf » 13 Aug 2012, 13:57

Don't you mean 'oooo aaaaaarrrr' Michael?
From decay comes growth, fungal or otherwise. All stages of death are filled with life and life to be. Creation is made up of ugly beauty that is gorgeous to those who can feel as well as they can see.

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Whitemane
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Whitemane » 13 Aug 2012, 16:05

Don't you mean 'oooo aaaaaarrrr' Michael?
I've got a brand new combine harvester... :whistle:

(Who wants to explain Adge Cutler to the non-UK readership?)
May the long time sun shine upon you,
All love surround you,
And the pure light within you,
Guide your way on.

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treegod
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby treegod » 14 Aug 2012, 15:11

And oil lend yoo the keeeez.

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Susanne
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Susanne » 14 Aug 2012, 15:45

Oh my..... :wink:

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Frog
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Frog » 27 Aug 2012, 17:51

It's a long one, but I'll go for it anyway.

Fred liked tractors. A lot. He had little models, big models, radio control models, magazines - he even had a John Deere in his back garden. It didn't work, but he could sit on it and make tractor noises.
Well his wife was tolerant, but when his collection started to crowd out the house she gave him the ultimatum - the tractor collection or her. Well, it was a difficult decision for Fred, but he loved his wife, so he got rid of the collection. Ebay, Car boot sales, freecycle... every one went.

Well having given his collection away, Fred was quite disheartened, so he went for a walk. On the walk though, he saw a burning building - and saw two trapped children. Immediately, Fred knew what to do and rushed to the door. He opened the letterbox and with a huge effort, sucked all the smoke out, just as the fire brigade arrived and were able to rescue the children.

"How did you know what to do?" asked the Fire Chief.

"Ah well you see" said Fred........................









"I'm an ex-tractor fan."
"Don't look to the end of the rainbow for the pot of gold; it's already under your feet"
Enjoy this life. It would be a shame if we looked forward to the next, only to find we forgot the one before.

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Bardic Inspirations (Stories/rambles): http://frog101.wordpress.com

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Ade Sundog
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Ade Sundog » 27 Aug 2012, 20:57

Someone asked me if i knew anything about dwarfs.

I said 'very little' .
:sun:

Og - Ha - Be

Make Tea Not War :greenpeace:

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Dragonling
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Dragonling » 28 Aug 2012, 06:42

What is Mary short for?
.
.
.
She's got no legs.


Two drums and a cymbal fell off a cliff.
.
.
.
Ba-dum tshhh.

:curtsey:

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cunning_murrell
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby cunning_murrell » 24 Sep 2012, 19:09

:roll:
"To thine own self be true and it must follow as the day the night thou canst not then be false to any man."
(William Shakespeare)

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cunning_murrell
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby cunning_murrell » 24 Sep 2012, 19:20

My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display.

How will it work?

Remains to be seen :wink:
"To thine own self be true and it must follow as the day the night thou canst not then be false to any man."
(William Shakespeare)

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treegod
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby treegod » 25 Sep 2012, 20:06

Mum! Mum! All the kids keep calling me balloon head.
Well, chase after them and teach them a lesson.
I can't, they run down really narrow alleyways

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cunning_murrell
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby cunning_murrell » 25 Sep 2012, 21:20

Mum! Mum! All the kids keep calling me balloon head.
Well, chase after them and teach them a lesson.
I can't, they run down really narrow alleyways
:-) poor kid
"To thine own self be true and it must follow as the day the night thou canst not then be false to any man."
(William Shakespeare)

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Ade Sundog
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Re: Prepare to laugh/groan...

Postby Ade Sundog » 26 Sep 2012, 08:45

owwwww!! :-)
:sun:

Og - Ha - Be

Make Tea Not War :greenpeace:


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