Pub Crawl: The Heat of The Moment

Herein are contained classic stories and other timeless threads penned by patrons of the Druid's Head Pub. To suggest additions, please contact the Moderator.
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CelticDao
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Postby CelticDao » 01 Dec 2004, 21:12

Then CelticDao did something nobody had seen him do before!
He slung his flutes over his back, and reached deep in his pocket, and out came...

A Hohner Chromatic Harp, and he JUMPED high in the air, and when he came down, he was moving like a madman, and began blowing like a hurricane! Tied down and blindfolded, Beith just wiggled in place as the words came out of nowhere!
I've got a shirt so unbelievably bright
I'm gonna dig it out and wear it tonight

Don't have to change, don't have to be sweet
Gonna be too many people to possibly meet
Don't have to feed 'em, they don't eat
They've got their power supplies in the soles of their feet
They exist for one thing, and one thing only
To escape living the lives of the lonely

'Till the morning comes, 'till the car arrives
'Till we kill the drums, 'till we lose our lives

Hey Jenny, tell Peggy Sue
We're gonna do the only thing you can do
For a rocker
For a rocker
For a rocker
For a rocker
There's a party tonight!
There's a party tonight!
There's a party tonight!
There's a party tonight!
Namasté Y'all.
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Wolfwalker
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Postby Wolfwalker » 02 Dec 2004, 03:52

From beneath his cloak, Wolfwalker pulled out a beaten up looking old fidle and as Dao's last notes died began to step-dance and lash his bow furiously as he sang over the fiddle music to play The Devil went Down to Georgia while Billie Joe Bob played the spoons in time with him...
Love people and use things, NOT use people and love things...

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Saille-Panthera
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Postby Saille-Panthera » 02 Dec 2004, 11:27

Meanwhile Saille had grabbed her flute and started playing along with the Pietenband who were playing all the Sinterklaas-songs they knew...
It was one cacophony of sounds now...
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'All we have to do is preserve our personality, to live our own life, to be captain of our own ship, and all will be well' (Dr. E. Bach)

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Postby Wolfwalker » 02 Dec 2004, 15:01

The shadows were dancing now, flitting tentatively at first into the light, then as the music and dancing from the mad crew from the Duck continued, emboldened, they whilrled like a a dark tornado, their energy sucking leprachaun guards that hadn't managed to flee the scene off their feet into the whirling malestrom.
There was a sudden flash as Merlyn showed up with one of his dragons in tow, who snorted balls of flame like flash-pots at a KISS concert! The music of whistles, fiddles, spoons, bodrhans, and voices blended as the lively music spun the darkness from the pit as Merlyn thoughtfully cast a spell to turn the sequined shoe into a rotating multi-coloured disco ball hanging above the yawning abyss, scatering points of light into the deepest receses. The grounfd began to shake beneath them as they played and the sky took on a very odd appearance as there was a bright sunset visiblke from the west and a moment later, a dazzling sunrise from the east. Leprachauns squealed in fright and the Duck crew kept playing every tune they knew...
Love people and use things, NOT use people and love things...

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CelticDao
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Postby CelticDao » 02 Dec 2004, 20:23

Quietly at first, then gradually louder, a rhythm was emerging...

boom, boom, clap
boom, boom, clap

Next, it was Crow, who just couldn't contain himself any more!
Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise
Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Kickin’ your can all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Buddy you’re a young man hard man
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Wavin’ your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Buddy you’re an old man poor man
Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day

You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back in your place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
Next thing, from the shadows...
It was a drum solo!
It was the thumping, rumbling, inner-city visceral beating of Garbage can Lids, of Rain Gutter Downspouts, of hubcaps...

Who was that whirling dervish in the middle of it all?
Whose furry tail whipped, and throbbed with the dumpster beat?

KatGrrl!!!
Namasté Y'all.
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Gwydion
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Postby Gwydion » 02 Dec 2004, 20:54

Then Gwydion enters the Hall, looks around while rubbing his beard.......
Tapping Gladys on the shoulder he asks, " Why are only half the people in this crowd naked" ?

:-) Gwydion

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Postby Wolfwalker » 03 Dec 2004, 01:54

Meanwhile, off by the end of one of the buildings, Wolfwalker shapeshifted back to his rabbit self and was digging a hole furiously. About two yards down he paused and backed up rapidly as a large badger paw stuck through to meet his tunnel... "Hawthorn!" Wolfie squealed leaping into her dirty paws, "how'd you find us????"
"are you kidding? They can hear that racket all the way to the Duck!" she chuckled... Looking back she called, "we're through... clear the tunnel and tell Eoin it's time to open the taps!" There was a great scravelling as all the digging creatures of Ye Foggy Duck cleared out while Hawthorn pushed Wolfwalker ahead of her... "Come on pokey-bones! I don't want to get this stuff on me!" she giggled at Wolfwalker.
Changing to his wolf-self as he exited the hole back to the party in leprecaun-Connecticut, Wolfie swung about... "get what stuff on me& you?" he yelled over the music and dancing.
Once more the ground rumbled but this time it wasn't the deep dry digging noise of a few minutes before, it sounded like liquid coming through a pipeline!
"Everyone duck!" she yelled, but the partying druids thought she was calling a dance and started doing a Chuck Berry 'duck walk' around the edge of the pit filled with wiggling , writhing shadows and sparkling light. Suddenly with a wet roar like the ocean coming from a whale's blow-hole as a great dirty wet blue liquid mess shot high into the air! It fell into the pit where the dancers quickly began to weave and sway, losing coordination. The leprechauns began to join in the singing or fight among themselves with their shelelighs and hawthorn sticks.
After a minute it "cleared" to a cloudy blue liquid that rained down over the entire guarded camp... the Duck folk turned their faces up just long enough to smell the stuff. A couple of the unfortunate ones got some in their open mouths and hastily spat it out again!
"Good old Eoin saved the day!" shreiked Beith
"Huh?" asked Billie Joe Bob, peering out from under the eave where they'd taken refuge
"I told Eoin that Blueberry Cider was a weapon!" howled Wolfwalker gleefully.
"Eoin is draining the whole lot down this hole and Gladys is having it blown through by a few of those windy ravens!" Hawthorn chortled, not noticing her red hair turning a very goth punk-looking shade of purple as the foul cider splattered her head. "Once the stuff stops coming through, we're supposed to make a run through the tunnel and all end up back at the Duck! All your stuff came through, shoes, wands, pocket-knives, medicine bags, trousers, even spell books and a laptop... all sorts of stuff, but none of you! There was even a pickup truck!"
"Anyway?" said Kat impatiently, "so all our missing stuff came through, but how did you know where to dig for us?"
"You were so loud it drowned out those old enchanted pipes Oak left behind... you know the ones attached to a Hoover instead of a pipe bag? The ones even Rancid is scared of? We went down to the Dragon's Lair and found where Merlyn breached the wall on his dragon but it all caved in behind him, so we all just started digging and I bumped into that were-bunny," she smirked toward Wolfie, "tunneling towards us and helped us break through.. The cider seems to be running out so it should only be a minute or three before we can escape. Merlyn, would you mind coming through last to knock it all down one more time?"
Love people and use things, NOT use people and love things...

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Postby Kat Lady » 03 Dec 2004, 05:08

The Blueberrry Cider had dwindled to a trickle as the Foggy Duckers prepared for the inevitable final confrontation between them and those shadow thieves: the Holiday Leprechauns.

Merlyn raised his hands skyward to ask the Dragons of the Season to aid him in this task of transporting everyone, their shadows and their belongings back to the Foggy Duck. The air was still in anticipation and a hush fell across the soggy, blueberry-smelling tunnels. The static electricity built as Merlyn began his invocation, his lips moving with the sacred words that would call the 4 Seasonal Dragons to their aid. Then the air vibrated as he spoke their names, "Yule! Christmas! Kwanzaa! Oy Vey!" The tunnel shook, smoke bellowed and the Foggy Duckers, shadows and all of their friends stared as there before them, in might and majesty stood the four Dragons of the Season....Wait! Drag Queens of the Season was more like it. Before them stood Kyan, Ted, Carson and Jai, four of the Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, all dressed in stylish holiday attire.

Wolfwalker, mouth agape, was speechless for the first time in years. Moon Cloud giggled in skittle delight at the scene. CelticDao, Caritas and Laurel stopped bickering long enough for CD to comment, "Nice Threads!" and Saille W., Earthward and Phoenix wondered how they ever got dragged into this in the firstplace. And Billy Joe Bob, well Billy Joe Bob could only say, "Well pluck my tail feathers and call me dinner" as he shook his head in amazement.

Crow took out his pad, methodically tore it in half, threw it to the ground and said, "I give up!" as Selene untied Beith, helped her to her feet and began searching for her shoes. And Gwydion, looking around at everyone, realized that he was the only one naked and the people he thought were naked earlier, were actually just shadows. He just shrugged his shoulders and rubbed his beard in amusement.

It was Kat that asked the questions that were on everyone's mind: "What happened, Merlyn?" and "Where is Thom?"

Merlyn looked at his hands, sticky with Blueberry Cider, smiled and said, "Well, it would appear that blueberry cider and might and majesty do not a good combination make."

Then Carson said, "Thorn is of course helping Kernos redecorate the Dragon's Head Pub, what with the mess you all made there!"

Before anyone could ask anymore questions, it was little Hawthorne that pointed and said, "Uh oh! Here comes trouble." And the motley crew watched as thousands of Holiday Leprechauns slowly made their way toward them.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.--Mark Twain

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CelticDao
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Postby CelticDao » 03 Dec 2004, 16:46

"Not to worry, my good friends!" CelticDao whipped out what looked like the discard pile at Plumber's World - but as he raised it to his lips, everybody realized it was Pan Pipes! The enchanted music leapt into the pit, and the Leprechauns began to dance!

"Everybody Run" shouted WolfWalker!
Namasté Y'all.
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Crow
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Postby Crow » 03 Dec 2004, 18:29

With the leprechauns dancing like maniacs to the mesmerizing tune from CelticDao’s flute, the enslaved shadows sensed freedom from their oppressors, and were seen fleeing in all directions, each in search of the person to whom it belonged.

Crow, secretly ashamed of himself for being temporarily overcome by the need to sing, scribbled in his notebook, sensing that another story was nearing a successful conclusion. The tunnel back to The Foggy Duck was dug, and all that remained for the friends was to enter it and be swept back to a cozy barstool in their own dimension.

But wait, Phoenix, who was blind but had vision better than most, was speaking:

“If we leave now, the whole thing will start all over again, won’t it? I mean, sure, if the scene that Caritas has kindly described for me is accurate, the leprechauns are temporarily incapacitated, and the shadows have fled back to their owners. But what happens when CelticDao stops playing? Won’t the whole thing start up again? Won’t the leprechauns simply round up all the shadows again and enslave them? It seems to me what is needed is some kind of re-education process. Sinterklaas is the head guy here, isn’t he? Shouldn’t we have a talk with him, and persuade him that the enslavement of shadows is not acceptable?”

Everyone’s jaw dropped, because they knew she was right. How could they all have overlooked something so obvious? Clearly, Phoenix was the smartest person here.

But it took someone with real authority to move a concept into action; it took an Administrator. And so it was Selene, with her pumpkin medallion gleaming brightly, who said, “Phoenix is right! C’mon gang, let’s find Sinterklaas!”

And so the Foggy Duckers, with the exception of CelticDao, who was keeping the leprechauns at bay, and Caritas, who was keeping Laurel at bay, swept back through the Toy Room, walked down a hallway and found a door with the gilt letters “Sinterklaas” written on it. Without knocking, they opened the door and entered.

They found him sitting behind a mahogany desk.

With a voice that sounded like thunder, Moon Cloud spoke:

“Sinterklaas, you should be ashamed of yourself. You bring joy to millions of people in our own dimension, but here in this one, you are running a slave camp. And not only that, you have a mahogany desk! Don’t you know that mahogany is an endangered species? We’re druids, and we don’t take that sort of thing lightly, you know!”

“Slave camp?” said Sinterklaas. “To have a slave camp, one would have to have people, and what you are referring to are shadows, and shadows are not people. Shadows represent the dark side, and ridding the world of them makes everything cheery and bright. No, child, you are wrong in your accusations.”

Beith spoke next:

“What you have constructed in this world, Sinterklaas, is a boring place. All worlds have a summer of brightness and a winter of dark, and it is right and proper. People also have light and dark sides, which is what makes them whole. That and several nice pairs of shoes, that is. And by the way, I’ve been a very good girl this year, and here’s my list.” The redhead dug in her pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper, which she tossed lightly onto Sinterklaas’s desk.

Reading upside down, Crow saw that the paper contained an extensive list of nothing but shoes, in a wide variety of colors and styles.

Sinterklaas sighed. “Children, you have convinced me. Oh, what have I done? How can I ever set things to right?”

It was Wolfwalker who had the answer:

“You have a huge workforce in place already, Sinterklaas. If you would retrain the leprechauns who have been patrolling for shadows, you would have enough to build toys and dig coal, and you could rotate their schedules so that none of them had to dig coal all the time.”

Sinterklaas slapped his knee and said, “Eureka! I’ll do it!”

And so the Foggy Duckers knew that they had successfully righted an injustice, and with Sinterklaas, they walked back outside. CelticDao stopped playing, and in a booming voice, Sinterklaas called to the leprechauns:

“All leprechauns, hear me! I have seen the error of my ways, and we will no longer enslave shadows. But there is much work to be done in order to be ready for Christmas. I shall need all of you leprechauns to work even harder than before, but we shall work together, and we shall be happy, and we will all have health insurance.”

Smiles were seen on the sea of leprechaun faces. Some picked up picks and shovels and started to dig coal, while most of them raced up to the Toy Store and got immediately to work.

Satisfied, the Foggy Duckers entered the tunnel and were swept back to The Foggy Duck. Barstools rocked with their sudden arrival.

Furtively, Crow removed a bottle of Laphroaig from the shelf. The old reporter had never paid for a drink, and he wasn’t about to start now.

But it was Gladys who said, “Welcome back everybody, and happy holidays. The drinks are on the house! Anything you want, but we’re out of blueberry cider.”

And when everyone had a full glass, there were clinking noises as toasts were made and friendships reaffirmed.

“Happy holidays everyone,” said Kat Lady, “And to all a good night!”

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Postby Ruthie » 03 Dec 2004, 21:16

Moon Cloud floated over to the jukebox and shot dozens of coin-shaped hailstones straight into the slot. She pressed one button, and retired to her favorite rafter absorbing the smells of the alcohol, and getting slowly drunk.
"Just one song, then it's all yours," she announced.
Shortly, the jukebox began thumping and her favorite tune streamed out of the speakers.
Early in the evenin' just about supper time,
Over by the courthouse they're starting to unwind.
Four kids on the corner trying to bring you up.
Willy picks a tune out and he blows it on the harp.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

Rooster hits the washboard and people just got to smile,
Blinky, thumps the gut bass and solos for a while.
Poorboy twangs the rhythm out on his kalamazoo.
Willy goes into a dance and doubles on kazoo.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

You don't need a penny just to hang around,
But if you've got a nickel, won't you lay your money down?
Over on the corner there's a happy noise.
People come from all around to watch the magic boy.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

Down On The Corner, out in the street,
Willy and the Poorboys are playin';
Bring a nickel; tap your feet.
One more well-aimed hailstone repeated the song, and MC fell fast asleep.

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CelticDao
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Postby CelticDao » 03 Dec 2004, 21:20

Well, the Cloudy Chick THOUGHT she repeated CCR, but what really came out was a wee bit different!
I saw him dancin’ there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin’ strong
Playin’ my favorite song
An’ I could tell it wouldn’t be long
Till he was with me, yeah me, singin’

I love rock n’ roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n’ roll
So come an’ take your time an’ dance with me

He smiled so I got up and’ asked for his name
That don’t matter, he said,
’cause it’s all the same

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An’ next we were movin’ on
He was with me, yeah me

Next we were movin’ on
He was with me, yeah me, singin’

I love rock n’ roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n’ roll
So come an’ take your time an’ dance with me

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An we’ll be movin’ on
An’ singin’ that same old song
Yeah with me, singin’

I love rock n’ roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n’ roll
So come an’ take your time an’ dance with me
Namasté Y'all.
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Kat Lady
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Postby Kat Lady » 04 Dec 2004, 02:48

Epilogue:

With the music and drink slowly making them lose their senses, the Foggy Duckers and friends decided it was again time to go their separate ways, or fall under the table in a drunken stupor. They had learned much this time around and were determined to put their newly learned skills and alliances to the test.

And so, knowing that there was a bundle to be made in unique holiday foods, Ted, the food guru, and Gladys formed a partnership making Blueberry Christmas Mead. They sold their wares to unsuspecting New Yorkers and made a bundle during the Holiday season. Carson, the fashion expert, had a joyous time outfitting Gwydion with the proper fig leaf attire for any occasion. And Kayan, they stylist, decided to concentrate on the care and preening of feathers. So he, Night Hawk and UndergroundGreenPhoenix donated their time to helping the feathered friends of London learn the proper care and conditioning of their soft downy bodies. Jai, the artiste, took his one man show on the road. WolfWalker, CelticDao and Saille W. were his back up musicians playing the fiddle, chromatic harp and flute respectively. MoonCloud accompanied them as the set lighting and sound effects director. Since learning to control her claps of thunder and the rainbow of color, she was exceptionally helpful in those areas. However, the audience had to be given umbrellas as she still had difficulty controlling the skittles and hailstones. And Thom, the decorator, continued to provide Kernos decorating tips. Under Thom’s tutelage, he updated the backdrops in the Druid’s Head and Foggy Duck Pubs. Their efforts were greatly appreciated by those who used the facilities regularly.

On the writing front, Azrienoch and Gandolf2004 collaborated on the best seller, In the Shadows of the Leprechauns: The Skeptical Approach to the Mythos of the Little Green Men. And KasuKlaus and SinterKlaus discovered they were twins separated at birth and penned, How the Twins Stole Christmas, which became a Yule time favorite among young and old alike.

Caritas and Laurel won the greatly honored Quantum Leap award for their theories on alternate realities and became the best of friends. They were last seen scribbling on a sidewalk in Italy the words, “Celtic who?”

Billy Joe Bob and Hawthorne returned to Texas where Billy Joe Bob bought a Portabello Mushroom farm. With the money they saved from not having to purchase digging equipment, they founded a home for lost and abandoned shadows. And Selene, Beith and EarthWard incorporated and formed an internet clothing company called Pumpkin Emporium that provided decorative and useful clothing. They specialized in glitter shoes and T-Shirts that said, “I Survived the Leprechaun Invasion of 2004.”

The unfortunate Kat Lady had a nervous breakdown from all of the stress of keeping the most recent pub crawl together and can currently be found in a soft, padded room somewhere in the suburbs of Connecticut where her purring rendition of Y M C A haunts those that hear it.

The last to depart the Foggy Duck, Crow sat at the bar where Morningstar, in Gladys’ absence, was picking up for the night. He glanced at the back of the Pub where Merlyn and the true dragons of the season: Yule, Christmas, Kwanzaa and Oy Vey, were playing 5 card stud. He sighed, finished his drink and stumbled from the stool to the front door. He glanced back and smiled at Morningstar who raised her prayer pipe in salute. Yep, vacation was over and as much as he hated to say it, he almost liked the chaos if this place. He left the Foggy Duck, closing the door silently behind him. He took to wing as the first snows began to fall and could be heard softly exclaiming as he flew out of sight:

“Happy Yule to all, and to all a good night!”
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.--Mark Twain

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Selene
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Postby Selene » 04 Dec 2004, 03:44

Very nicely done, everyone! A toast to all you fine contributors and a special thanks to Kat Lady for leading us on yet another adventure!
Raising a glass (or two), Image
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Wolfwalker
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Postby Wolfwalker » 04 Dec 2004, 04:15

As one who shares his abode with 3 cats, they will always find some way to make an adventure! :-)
BB, Peter
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Postby Selene » 04 Dec 2004, 04:17

I share mine with four of the furries, and I concur!
"I've learned so much from my mistakes...I'm thinking of making few more."

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Kat Lady
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Postby Kat Lady » 07 Dec 2004, 02:09

I want to thank everyone that participated in this...um....story and taking the time to participate in this my first initiation of a Pub Crawl.(Based on the padded room I am currently in, this could be my last!) Without your participatation, it wouldn't work. You make it fun.

AND, a special thanks to all of the readers who suffer through the mayhem and chaos each time. Thanks for laughing along with us.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.--Mark Twain

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Postby MorningStar » 07 Dec 2004, 05:52

You folks did great. i may not be around as much any more...well for a short spell but i do "Duck" in every now and then and enjoyed reading long. Here in the next few months get stronger and be more productive participant. :oops:

Can't let you guys have all the fun ya know :o

Mee-gwitch for the smiles and giggles along the way. :brnbear: :feather:

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Postby EarthWard » 08 Dec 2004, 17:35

:applause: :robinhood: :germ: :hug: :glbt: :wizard: :razz:
Muy bien Amigos!!!
Exellente!!!
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Saille-Panthera
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Postby Saille-Panthera » 09 Dec 2004, 15:18

I hesitated a bit at first, should I write along, or should I just read along, but then I thought: what the heck... and I'm glad I did, it has been really fun :grin: Thanks Kat Lady, for starting it all, and thanks everyone for the contributions/reactions :hug: :kissie: :hug: :applause: :hug:
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'All we have to do is preserve our personality, to live our own life, to be captain of our own ship, and all will be well' (Dr. E. Bach)


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