Losing Love

This forum is for discussions of the various ways Druidry touches our daily lives.
Forum rules
If you find a topic of interest and want to continue the discussion then start a new topic under The Hearthfire with a similar name and add a link back to the topic you want to continue.
To copy a link just copy the url on the top left of your browser and then put in your post, highlight it and press the url button.
JSheets443
OBOD Bard
Posts: 66
Joined: 30 Mar 2009, 14:29
Gender: Male
Location: South Carolina
Contact:

Losing Love

Postby JSheets443 » 27 Jun 2013, 18:51

A little background about this situation. I met a lady 9 months ago after a very rough 2 years of being single. We hit it off as friends and things naturally progressed from there. I felt happier than I had been in a while. I feel it important to say that I know she was not the only source of my happiness, I was happy before I met her just lonely, after all there's only so much a 4 year old can do to alleviate certain types of loneliness. After the 9 months she decided that it was not working and that we should separate and just be friends again. I was once again let back down into the level of loneliness that I had been in before and I was wondering if anyone here had any advice on a meditation or anything else that may help me pull myself back up out of this slump. Thanks for any insight.
Image
Image Image Image Image Image

User avatar
Queen_Blossoms
OBOD Ovate
Posts: 37
Joined: 08 Jun 2008, 00:04
Gender: Female
Location: Prairie's Edge (Boulder County, Colorado)
Contact:

Re: Losing Love

Postby Queen_Blossoms » 16 Aug 2013, 21:09

Hi, J.

Have you figured out anything that works well for you in this situation? I don't know much except what I've experienced. I hope it helps you as you might need. Loneliness is from the Crone, the Calliech, and it has a vital lesson to teach. Hard lesson that can't help but get our attention. Perhaps you might write a chant and request to ask to be shown through the path of Loneliness. Maybe "through" is the only way "out".

I speak to you from the depths of Loneliness myself, after my spouse and soulmate (one in the same) for 36 years left for The Summerlands. As prepared as I was for his departure, I had no idea what to do with the abyss Loneliness left in my own soul and that could not (for a time) be assuaged by others.

Whatever you learn from Loneliness now will only serve you greatly in the future.

-Queen
Image
2009 LI

"The flower that follows the sun does so even on cloudy days." - Robert Leighton

User avatar
IvyMist
OBOD Ovate
Posts: 61
Joined: 22 Jun 2013, 18:29
Gender: Female
Location: Pinellas County, FL
Contact:

Re: Losing Love

Postby IvyMist » 17 Aug 2013, 15:14

I remember well the loneliness I felt when I got divorced after an 18 year marriage. Even though it was the best decision I had ever made (the marriage being an abusive one physically & emotionally) I couldn't believe how much loneliness & grief I was feeling at the time. I can remember being in a room full of people, laughing on the outside & dying on the inside :gloomy: .

But the dying turned out to be a good thing. I was getting rid of those things that no longer had meaning in my life and it became the nurturing soil to those things that was to become. I learned to love myself, honor & respect myself, and put myself first for the first time ever in my life. These were things that I had not done in those long 18 yrs in that abusive environment. I also learned that I could be alone with myself and that it was okay. I took up painting, dancing, and even worked on writing a novel. The loneliness, after a time, turned into a quiet solitude that I enjoyed. I discovered that the hardest part about being alone is that it makes us face things in ourselves that we may not want to face. But when you do you discover things about yourself that might amaze you.

To answer your meditation question though, I can remember that I used to sit with my eyes closed and as I breathed out I would say "I exhale loneliness" and as I breathed in I would say "I inhale self love," or "I exhale grief, I inhale peace," whatever thought came to me at the time. I also made myself make lists about myself, affirmations. This was hard to do because I had been put down for so long that it was hard to come up with things I liked about myself. At first I couldn't even come up with 5 things. Each day I challenged myself to add to my list. I also made a list of things I would like to learn or try like belly dancing, scuba diving, etc. Then I went out and tried them. This took my mind off the loneliness and I tried new things, some I loved, some I hated but it was very good therapy for me (much cheaper than seeing a therapist would have been.) It was also during this time that I enrolled in massage school. I not only learned a new skill which enabled me to work for several yrs after, but it was a very healing modality for me as well. Giving someone a massage enabled me to enter a quiet place in my mind that I had not ever been before, and I embraced that quietness.

I hope something in here helps you in someway. But I agree with what Queen_Blossoms said, "the only way out really is through."
“The human spirit needs places where nature has not been re- arranged by the hand of man.” - author unknown


Image

User avatar
Willowhawk
OBOD Bard
Posts: 1558
Joined: 10 Dec 2003, 02:04
Gender: Female
Location: ...over grass and over stone, and under mountains in the moon...
Contact:

Re: Losing Love

Postby Willowhawk » 25 Dec 2014, 16:56

I'm glad I stumbled upon this post... since the loss of my sweet husband, loneliness is my reality. I've never had a hard time being by myself-- I'm an introvert and a writer who's spent most of her life inside her own head. But being alone... that's different, somehow. I'm trying to embrace it, learn to accept it, and that is so, so hard. I don't want to think I'll be alone for the rest of my life, but there's every chance I will be, so I guess I need to learn how to be okay with it.
Peace over anger. Honour over hate. Strength over fear.


Return to “Druid Living”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest