Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

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hannahealasaid
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Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby hannahealasaid » 18 Jun 2015, 10:18

Wasn't sure where to ask this but I figured here would be ok?

I'm pretty new to all of this but I feel it's something I need to do because of my love of all things celtic and a deep rooted connection with nature.

My family, well my mother in particular, is a catholic and has very strong views. I haven't told her that I'm studying the course because every time something about celtic religions, paganism etc is mentioned she pretty well flies off the handle at me. She seems to have the view that I suppose is portrayed on TV all too often that really doesn't give the right view of what it's all about.

I'm 27 so it doesn't really bother me that she doesn't agree with my beliefs, we don't all have to think the same. But having been away at university for the past 5 years I'm back living at home, and I know there would be friction if she knew.
I'm starting to feel like Harry Potter having to hide all my books and materials so she doesn't find out!

How would you deal with that?

:gloomy:

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Michael C. Page
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby Michael C. Page » 18 Jun 2015, 12:20

I would just keep it to yourself for now. Once you're back out on your own and your life and faith practice settles a bit, then you can rethink what you wish to do.

No harm can come by waiting - Timing is the key to this sort of thing. Sometimes one never comes out to anybody in terms of "A label" , but rather in Ideas, little by little, in casual conversation. :)

All the Best,
Michael
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aaron
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby aaron » 18 Jun 2015, 18:08

Hi There,
I would look to the past for advice.
When the Catholic priests came to the British Isles, they were, to put it mildly, less than enthusiastic about the Druids.
The Bards handled it by trying to co-exist with the Christians. They became advisors, poets, musicians and generally kept their own beliefs.

Just do what you are doing. As they say, "Too thine own self be true". Your Mom will come around. Moms are funny that way.

Good luck, and blessings.
Aaron

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babblebeth
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby babblebeth » 19 Jun 2015, 10:29

My mom was very dubious about this as she is an Atheist and was worried about the fact it cost money and what it entailed (I think she was worried about cults which is understandable as some groups are very dodgy) I explained that it was less a religion and more a philosophy and that the costs were similar to buying books. She's done philosophical work herself and so without revealing anything I shouldn't I was able to explain the principles behind what I was doing without getting into details.

You could always lead with how many druids are christian (while avoiding mentioning if you are or not)

My brother in law (who lived in Japan) likened it to Buddhism and Shinotism, "Many people in Japan are Buddhist, but every one is Shinto" if you sell it as a philosophy course she may be calmer about it.

Or you could just avoid the subject. My grandmother is very very very republican. I'm a socialist, our politics are almost polar opposite. Yet I love my grandmother and she loves me, we just very strongly avoid talking politics. Or similarly I'm bi-sexual and my Father in law has no idea because he's rather...unenlightened about homosexuality, he's not super hateful or anything he just really believes there were no gay people when he was young so thinks it's some weird fad (he has said though when questioned by my sister in law about what he would do if his grandchildren turned out to be gay that he "won't say anything because that's won't be my problem, that's for their parents to deal with but of course I would still love them." I'm adding this so you know he's not a bad guy just....really ignorant about LGBTQ people)

There is no shame in avoiding a topic that's only going to cause friction.
older and wiser

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Davin Raincloud
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby Davin Raincloud » 20 Jun 2015, 06:17

You might want to explore the Christian Druid stuff (on this forum), just so you know about that middle ground. (Even if you aren't Christian yourself).

Research Celtic Christianity.

Quite a few Catholic Druids around.

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MountainGnome
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby MountainGnome » 20 Jun 2015, 22:49

It might upset your mom even more but a lot of Christian traditions (and dare I say myths) seem to have been adapted from Celtic religions in addition to what was inherited from Judaism and Greek culture.

For example...
  1. There is a Gaulish god "Hu" whose incarnated human form is "Hésus."
  2. There is a Gaulish god who was burnt in order to somehow appease his father, also a god.
  3. The winter solstice was celebrated as the death of the old Sun (the previous year) and the birth of a new one, representing the resurrection.
  4. All those bunnies and eggs at Easter are also pagan in origin, as is the very word "Easter."
  5. In ancient Brittany a man was sometimes chosen to be sacrificed to appease the gods, and he would wear a crown made of plants. He would be paraded through the village and people would curse him the whole time, putting all of their burdens and "sins" onto him so he would be the scapegoat and make atonement with the gods.
  6. I know it's not biblical, but the story of the "Holy Grail" as a cup or chalice also seems to descend from Celtic stories of magical cauldrons that caught blood from sacrifices and could give life.
There are other connections but I can't recall them all off the top of my head. Suffice it to say that Christianity as we understand it today is a mutt religion that seems to be a mix of several things. Someone who's deeply entrenched into the dogma might not like to hear that but at least you can show that there is a relation.

Also the Catholic Church has done some horrendous things in its past, like mass murder. For them to make up dogmatic beliefs and rituals over 100s of years would be a nice thing to do by comparison.

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Whitemane
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby Whitemane » 21 Jun 2015, 21:05

Have a plan B, so that if things really go down the toilet you have somewhere where you take a break. Knowing you do have a way out may make it easier to put up with the nonsense.

Find a trusted friend who can put you up for a few days, in return for housekeeping work or something like that if necessary. Get a burner phone, and turn off any cell phone your parents know about.
May the long time sun shine upon you,
All love surround you,
And the pure light within you,
Guide your way on.

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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby MountainGnome » 22 Jun 2015, 06:03

Having said all that above though I would do the same thing you have been: just hide it.

Personal privacy is valued for a reason and not everyone needs to know everything about you, even your own mother. I'm sure every one of us has done or thought things we wouldn't be very eager to tell our moms about.

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Dathi
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby Dathi » 22 Jun 2015, 13:23

Carmina Gadelica to bridge the gap????

http://archive.org/stream/carminagadeli ... 0/mode/2up

BTW, fell into a party at SMO once. Mad craic till the dot of midnight when sabbatarianism took over. The Imaginary Tartan Menagerie!

Dathi
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mandybard
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Re: Less than enthusiastic family - what to do?

Postby mandybard » 23 Jun 2015, 10:37

Until it becomes possible to have a rational discussion about it, be comforted by the fact that you are on a path that doesn't require you to be "out there" in order to express your beliefs. It would be harder I think if you belonged to a religion that required evangelism or witnessing as part of regular practice. You can be as solitary as you need to be without compromising your inner journey, while at the same time showing outwardly whatever confidence, energy and wisdom you're gaining from your studies. I have family and friends who are devout Christians, with whom I've been able to have really deep and positive conversations about faith once they got over the initial confusion/freakout of realising I was no longer a Christian (and hadn't been for rather a long time!). Even though they don't agree with what I believe and fear for my soul they can't dispute the positive day-to-day influence that Druidry has had on me.
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Love took up the harp of Life, and smote on all the chords with might;
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