The Druid Grove

Dear friends,

I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm well on my way growing and recovering from my past, in all aspects. But I'm having a very hard time now because of my luvvy who's in a similar state as I used to be. Depression and major life changes, everything hanging in the air.
He's had major surgery last year, unexpected and a horrid ordeal, leaving him permanently 'changed', a minor disability. He's out of work, staying in with his parents. He lives in the UK, wants to come to live with us in the Netherlands permanently, the official and financial aspect is a big obstacle. All this is too much to handle, missing being here close to me only adds to the burden.
He's had so many heavy fits of depression now, we've hardly been in touch since he left, end of September. I haven't heard since end of November. Unlike me, he is either superficially fine or completely on the dark side of the moon. (I know about my issues when I'm good and I know there is hope even when I'm feeling really bad.)

I understand his episodes of being on 'the dark side of the moon' and I believe it is something necessary to go through. External negativity triggers it, 'the last drop'. I believe it's his way of working things out in a subconscious state. Coming round a bit, he blurts out all that's been troubling him underneath and resolving a lot of it too. Apparently I am the only one he's comfortable talking to. He generally feels very happy being here. These surroundings do him good. Peace, rest, support, doing meaningful and appreciated little things, plenty of opportunity to talk about all that's on his mind and affection. But in order to get back here for another 'healing session' he needs to be well enough!

I'm constantly thinking of him, trying to help any which way. Not only because I want to but also because it is a natural 'flow'. We normally have a very strong connection, being ridiculously in touch when apart by texting, phone, IM. But also knowing when something is up with one another, sharing feelings without any external cause. Example: 'Stop thinking about me, I'm trying to concentrate on work here!' When we are together -in any way-, we are both so much more positive, being each others sunshine. I feel confident, strong and without doubt, he can blow away any worry on my mind with such ease. We're like kids on a seesaw, going higher and higher. He's just starting to understand what a strong person he really is, this awakening can also be a confusing and frightening phase. When he's on the dark side of the moon I'm not only not in touch through physical means but I often can't even FEEL him any more, like being out of reach. That is horrible. It's as if my feelings/thoughts/energy never arrive, go into the void and nothing comes back. It feels like a big bleeding wound.

I twigged that's what's draining and debilitating me. And I know that doesn't help anyone, I need to be well and also get things done here. Finishing my apprenticeship, graduating, getting a paid job, a stable basis for all of us, practical help with official stuff, giving him advice and options to find work here as well as continuing my spiritual journey, I had just started out on a reiki course.. I can do so much with his support, but when he's 'out' it's a lot worse than being on my own. I struggle to cover the basics.

It came to me that I need to close that wound. I understand that I can, but it is hard for me to do it. I think that would mean cutting him off. When he's in a kind of grey zone I can reach him and I think that is what helps pull him out. He sees me as friend, lover, teacher, healer, priest (for confessions) and puts so much faith and trust in me. I don't want to leave him alone at that point. I know my understanding is limited, but I believe there are some of you who know exactly what I mean and what is going on. Please give me some advice.

Another thing that came to me is: I am not alone. It is so hard on me because I am so close and vulnerable. I ask all who want, if they can, for help. A little guiding light for my love to find his way back out of the dark when it is time.

Thank you,

Maena

PS if you'd like to know any more details, please PM me

Hi Meana,

If you have started a Reiki training then you are being given the tools for self healing and healing for others. Each day make time for a self healing session it is essential to clear the way and to free worries and blocked energy. If you can get a Reiki treatments from an experienced person.

Another powerful tool is the Reiki principals
The secret art of inviting happiness.
The medicine of all diseases..]

When learnt I reiki I used to say the principals as I walked to work - just for today.....
for me the one I always came back to was - do not be angry - now it is gratitude

Gratitude is a really good gift - when life is dark it is often hard to see what to be grateful for but you can be express gratitude for small things - for example a warm drink when you come in from the cold - flower bulbs edging out of the frozen ground.look up at the trees, birds moon,sun.... By giving attention to small things it can clear and ease the noise and worry from your mind.

Let Reiki and Awen guide and help you clear your energy - give time for your own spiritual path and you will be strong for your friend when he emerges from his dark place. It hard to watch and feel someone on such a bleak journey but they have travel it themselves.

I am sending Reiki distance healing to you.

With blessings

Merryb

Thank you Merryb!

I really had just started, but so much seemed familiar. More affirming and ordering something properly than it being completely new.
Of course I didn't have any time since I've been so busy fretting and running about in circles, whenever I wasn't sulking in gloom

I am glad I asked for help. I knew I was wandering off in the wrong direction. There is no point in me following my luvvy into misery. What helps me when I'm down and turn to others is their grounded, positive attitude. That is the best way to help others as well as yourself.

I will make time to do a self healing session NOW and every day. Being well makes me use time more efficiently, so it makes up for the 'lost' time completely. And even if I haven't learnt much yet.. blimey be honest, it comes naturally, nothing to deny or be frightened about

When he's sussed things out underneath -and I know he will-, I'll be there and I'll be well.

Bright Blessings
Maena

Hey your coming out of the gloom, writing things down can often help to clarify what needs doing.I get the impression you are an old soul and a vibrant person who is sinking under worldly cares.

I forgot to mention Reiki shares if you can get to one go - it is just a group who meet and share Reiki between each other. If your Reiki Master does not run one look around for other groups. Usually there is a meditation first - when I go to a reiki share the sheer bliss of three or four people giving Reiki to me as I lay on the couch is wonderful - I generally travel.

I have started to weave the druid meditations into my reiki and mindfulness meditation.

I will put you in my healing basket if that is OK

With blessig and light

Merryb

I went to see a psychologist over a year ago. He told me there was nothing wrong with me, there WOULD be something wrong with me if I'd be all bouncy and happy after all I'd been through. He asked how the bugger I managed to go on. I replied: you might want to curl up and die, but it doesn't happen. There's always another day. One thing he told me that I needed to hear from someone outside: it is NOT my fault, I have simply had a lot of bad luck, had the worst surroundings. I DID make the best choices based on my knowledge and possibilities.
Sometimes the path is dark, windy and rough, but that's okay when you know you're on the right track

I'm doing a study at home course, it's by a college for many alternative and natural healing studies. So there is little personal contact. One can make an appointment for meetings a few times each year. I will take the next possible one. I do miss meeting like minded folk in person.

I have interwoven my different strands too. Still adding though.
I'm an apprentice social care worker on an organic farm, so I have a nice stretch to walk along the pastures at dawn each morning. I meditate and say my prayers while walking, stop while looking at the dawning sun and chant a few awens.. I think the sheep are getting used to it

Feel free to add me to your healing basket. I would like to add you to my tree of lights, if you like. It's a bundle of twigs with LED lights and little ivy leaves with names on, which I'll be giving a spring cleaning/renewal soon. A symbol of community, both giving and receiving.

Bright Blessings
Maena

I would feel priveleged to be placed in your tree of light. Thank you.

With blessings and light
Merryb

I went to see a psychologist over a year ago. He told me there was nothing wrong with me, there WOULD be something wrong with me if I'd be all bouncy and happy after all I'd been through. He asked how the bugger I managed to go on. I replied: you might want to curl up and die, but it doesn't happen. There's always another day. One thing he told me that I needed to hear from someone outside: it is NOT my fault, I have simply had a lot of bad luck, had the worst surroundings. I DID make the best choices based on my knowledge and possibilities.
Sometimes the path is dark, windy and rough, but that's okay when you know you're on the right track

I'm doing a study at home course, it's by a college for many alternative and natural healing studies. So there is little personal contact. One can make an appointment for meetings a few times each year. I will take the next possible one. I do miss meeting like minded folk in person.

I have interwoven my different strands too. Still adding though.
I'm an apprentice social care worker on an organic farm, so I have a nice stretch to walk along the pastures at dawn each morning. I meditate and say my prayers while walking, stop while looking at the dawning sun and chant a few awens.. I think the sheep are getting used to it

Feel free to add me to your healing basket. I would like to add you to my tree of lights, if you like. It's a bundle of twigs with LED lights and little ivy leaves with names on, which I'll be giving a spring cleaning/renewal soon. A symbol of community, both giving and receiving.

Bright Blessings
Maena

I am not sure these lights are effective or not? I have heard lot about these lights healing well so need to try it once..Thanks for sharing the information

I have a similar emotional connection/link, and am trying to learn to manage it. Rather than shutting off the connection, can you visualise the flow between you, then reduce it to something manageable? For instance, decrease the diameter, or dull the colors, or make it quieter or cooler, or whatever sensory representation works for you.

The other approach you can take is to take enough energy into you to ensure the outflow doesn't drain you. The Reiki may help with that, but I don't know because I've not studied it. What I have done - for temporary periods (days, not weeks) - is activated one of my links to a place of power, and channeled that straight to where it's needed, bypassing my regular energy flow & stores entirely. Don't forget to shut that link and thank the source afterwards!

I have a similar emotional connection/link, and am trying to learn to manage it. Rather than shutting off the connection, can you visualise the flow between you, then reduce it to something manageable? For instance, decrease the diameter, or dull the colors, or make it quieter or cooler, or whatever sensory representation works for you.

The other approach you can take is to take enough energy into you to ensure the outflow doesn't drain you. The Reiki may help with that, but I don't know because I've not studied it. What I have done - for temporary periods (days, not weeks) - is activated one of my links to a place of power, and channeled that straight to where it's needed, bypassing my regular energy flow & stores entirely. Don't forget to shut that link and thank the source afterwards!

This is how I understand Reiki to work, as well as the previous post about "tree of lights". Some people put the names of people in need on paper and put the paper into a "healing cauldron". Others set up Reiki crystal healing grid. It's how you work with energy, as an individual and how you were trained. Does any of this work? I think so. YMMV I do believe, however, that some individuals are more receptive to certain types of energy work than to other types.

Welcome to the Board, both of you!

Blessings, Aigeann

Hi Aigeann,
Thanks for the welcome!

I'm totally untrained in any formal sense, so have worked with trial, error, "well, this should work", and some guidance from my DH.

One of the reasons for studying the bardic course is to add some structure to my knowledge.