Pub Crawl: Bardic Duel in the Druid's head!

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Postby Guest » 06 Mar 2004, 01:38

Meanwhile, back at the Foggy Duck:

Nimue swatted a fly that had been attracted to her choco-mint ice cream. It fell dead.

"Nice whack!" said the bald man with the shotgun.

"Why thank you, Mr. Fudd," Nimue purred.

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Night Hawk
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The Night Hawk Joins

Postby Night Hawk » 06 Mar 2004, 01:49

Night Hawk flies in, perching on the table...
"Mmmm, that chocolate ice cream sounds good!"

*Starts to sing...*
:hawk::awen:
:coll: Current read: Earthsea TrilogyUrsula K. LeGuin
http://www.midrealm.org/starleafgate/
http://www.witchesofwindsor.com

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Postby LadyMoonChaser » 06 Mar 2004, 02:17

:-) :-) :-) :-)

thanks so much for the laughs....laughing out loud feels so good!!!

Blessings & Love!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Postby Cougar » 06 Mar 2004, 02:30

Nimue,leans over to Nighthawk....and whispers in a low voice....
'Shhhh....I'd keep my eye on the bald guy with the shotgun...
If I were you!...fortunately, his aim is poor!' :lol:

Meanwhile,Breoghan is STILL at the bar,eight mead deep,and still speaking in tongues....
Last edited by Cougar on 06 Mar 2004, 03:04, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Night Hawk » 06 Mar 2004, 02:51

NH continues to sing though...The effect of which seems to have mellowed the bald guy with the shotgun. He lowers the gun and sinks to the ground in a sleepy mood...

*Ahhhh, gotta love Awen...* :grin:
:coll: Current read: Earthsea TrilogyUrsula K. LeGuin
http://www.midrealm.org/starleafgate/
http://www.witchesofwindsor.com

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Postby Cougar » 06 Mar 2004, 03:20

BANG!!!

The unmistakable report,of a shotgun, rings the pub!....
The sound,resonates around the room...echoes down the hallways,and reaches the ears of Kerno's.
Breoghan...in his stupor yell's..'ET TU BRUTE!
Kerno's sits up,wonders what the sound was,puts down the days receipts,and goes to investigate.
Unnerved by the activity..kerno's has left the money...alone...sitting for all who enters to see.
It is splayed across a desk...begging, to be taken...







:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cougar

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Postby Beith » 06 Mar 2004, 14:30

They landed with a bump and a resounding THUD! on the floor of the Foggy Duck Pub. Water gushed over them in a small tidal wave.

The punters leapt back in shock and gazed upon the dripping figures of Oakwyse and a stark naked Beith recumbent on the floor.
Beith looked up, shrieked and grabbed a large tie-dyed robe from a nearby rabbit and covered herself. Oakwyse quickly shunted his bagpipes down to a strategic position. They let out a droan of soggy discontent.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Tinne

"Oh don't you start" said Beith irritably.

"Where have you been?" asked Merlyn. "It's hours since Oakwyse left the pub to look for you"

"We were in the bath" replied Beith "and now we're not and oh! are those my shoes?!!!" she squealed in delight, pointing to the pile of footwear surrounding Alferian.

"You and Oakwyse were in the bath together?" asked Tinne, wide eyed now his curiosity was aroused.
"No. Yes. but not like that" said Beith. "It's kind of hard to explain"
"It will be when Raveynfyre hears about it" said Tinne.

Oakwyse gathered himself to his feet, re-adjusted his pipes and slipped behind the bar to preserve his modesty.
"It was hellish" he said "I was surrounded by 4 naked dancing women wearing high heels, drunk on champagne, covered in ice-cream and sharing a steamy bath"
"sounds AWFUL!" said Craig with a grin.
"No- no..you don't understand" began Oakwyse "They were she-devils"
"my dreams come true" replied Craig.
"Sinful" said Tinne, "and you a priest!"
"Nice shoes" grinned Merlyn, pointing to the black sequined high heels Oakwyse was sporting. "I always wondered what the clergy wore under their vestments!"

Oakwyse blushed and teetered further behind the bar counter for cover. This was not his day. He turned to the whiskey cabinet and poured himself a large double.

"EEEEEEEEK!" shrieked Gladys, standing behind him "COVER YERSELF UP MAN OR YER BARRED!"

Oak dropped the whiskey in the sink in shock at the scream. Looking down he noticed two things:
1. His bagpipes had slipped
2. The water in the sink swirled rapidly in deosil direction.

It reminded him of something he couldn't quite remember, but it made him feel uncomfortable. "Water" he said, pointing.
"WOT?" said Gladys
"Water" repeated Oakwyse "Swirling water."
"Nyaaaah....what's up doc?" asked a grey rabbit, leaning on edge of the bar and chewing a carrot.
"I tawt a taw an active vortex" tweeted the yellow bird in the cage above the bar.
"What's going on?" said Azrienoch
"Yes let us see!" said Alferian, pushing closer
They peered in at the swirling water. The faint sound of female laughter tinkled in the air
"I think you should all step back" warned Oakwyse as the surging water rose in the sink.

"GORN! DE DRAIN'S BACKED UP AGAIN" yelled Gladys the barmaid, shouting for her husband.
Gorn arrived with a plunger and proceeded to lever it over the sink hole.
"I wouldn't do that" cautioned Oakwyse. The waters swirled faster and faster in dizzying spin.
Gorn pumped the plunger harder. There was a sucking noise. A POP! and a purple satin stiletto heeled shoe shot out of the sink.
"I think I cleared the blockage" smiled Gorn triumphantly.

Oakwyse had a sudden epiphany, screamed and fled backwards, causing a sensation amidst the punters unused to the sight of a semi-naked bagpipe-wearing Anglican Druid Priest in full reverse throttle.
"What's got into him?" asked Tinne then abruptly stopped.
A spiraling column of water gushed from the sink and showered the bar in a rain of shoes.
"Versace!" yelled Tinne, grabbing a silver diamante studded slipper with kitten heel.
"MINE!" yelled Beith, grabbing it from him
An empty champagne bottle rolled by.
"What the devil is going on-" began Alferian and was instantly silenced by an avalanche of shrieking female forms who shot out of the sink and fell on top of him.

There was a moment's pause as two worlds collided.

"I diiiid! I diiiid see an active vowtex" cheeped Tweetie Pie above them.

Alferian groaned underneath a mound of she devils.
"They're back!" yelled Nimue, "Gorn has rescued them from hell!"

Chalcedoni sat up and rolled off Alferian. She still held the champagne glass.
Cleopatra uncoiled herself, straighted her headdress and looked around the pub. "Where in Ra's name am I?" she asked, bemused.
Helen of Troy collected her dignity, moved to the bar and struck up a conversation with a little man in a toga.

"Hello boys" giggled Chalcedoni "We're back!"

"Anyone for mint ice-cream?"

--------------------------------------------------------
Final Episode
Roll Credits.
Drop Curtain.
Title Music to fade.....

Thanks to everyone who took part and flexed their bardic muscles!!

More mischief on the way shortly!
Beith

Guest

Epilogue

Postby Guest » 06 Mar 2004, 15:15

Epilogue: OakWyse Writes in His Journal

This latest journey to hell and back was certainly one of the more interesting. I wonder whether many people will ever understand the peculiar and challenging demands of priesthood? Ever since the Victorian Age, it seems the same thing has been happening to priests as to angels. Few now remember the ancient angelic image of raw power, manifest in in a sword-wielding warrior of etheric realms! In those days, the first part of every angelic greeting had to be "Don't be afraid!"

Today, no one fears the domesticated angelic mythos. People have forgotten the warrior angels in favor of more manageable chubby little children with absurdly small wings, or insipid women who are hardly worthy of femininity -- both images conjured up by less than competent males who are looking for assurance of their dominant place in the cosmos.

So, too, with priests.

Once, with Brendan, Aiden, Moluag, or Godric -- with women doubtless in priestly office such as Brighid and Hilda -- they were earthy, rollicking, whiskey loving folk who found a fierce delight in the close relationship between the earthly and the heavenly, between This World and the Otherworld. But humankind have domesticated priests as well as angels, to protect themselves from the threat of the numinous. Today the priestly stereotype is like the insipid angel, but worse yet. Whereas the insipid angel often adorns the Valentine card and at least suggests to humankind the joys of earthly love, the mythical priest of today seems something of a cross between a nerd and a prude -- condemning in others what he is afraid to experience in himself.

Ah, well. Many clergy have themselves bought into this error, and so participate in bleeding humankind dry of its zest for life.

How many people, I wonder will dare to understand the power and magick of this latest journey into hell? How many will giggle at the scene or condemn it -- OakWyse, the Priest and Druid, standing, sans vestments, with a dirk in his teeth, in the center of a spinning vortex created by half a score of unclothed females? Who will understand the subtle interplay of eros, philia, agape, humor, and sheer fun; the mythological constructs of a hot tub in hell, the Foggy Duck, and a circle of mushrooms?

The Holy is far more untamed than most people think it is. So, too, with Priests who become Druids. Or Druids who become Priests.

Well, I'd best see if those blasted bagpipes have dried out. I feel like a round or two of "Paddy's Leather Breeches."

Benedicite,
OakWyse :pipe:

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Postby Jenn » 06 Mar 2004, 21:57

Oh this is fun!!!!!! Thank you all!!!! This is GREAT!!!!! :D

Blessings,
Jenn

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Postby Night Hawk » 06 Mar 2004, 23:23

I totally disagree here. Priests should NOT have power like angels! They'll just use and abuse it. Look at the evidence of what happened to young boys at the hands of priests in history.
Maybe I'm totally off base here, but I dislike powerful religious people.
:cry: :x :???: :-(
:coll: Current read: Earthsea TrilogyUrsula K. LeGuin
http://www.midrealm.org/starleafgate/
http://www.witchesofwindsor.com

Guest

Postby Guest » 07 Mar 2004, 00:09

Night Hawk ~ I think you should read things a bit more carefully before responding to them!

Peace,
OakWyse

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Postby Night Hawk » 07 Mar 2004, 02:17

I don't always agree with you.
:coll: Current read: Earthsea TrilogyUrsula K. LeGuin
http://www.midrealm.org/starleafgate/
http://www.witchesofwindsor.com

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Postby Piastra » 07 Mar 2004, 05:46

night hawk,

i believe it is of no consequence to this message board whether you agree or disagree with a person or not. however, the manner in which you conduct yourself in your disagreement is. your particular responses to piper oak might have been better handled by pm, and i must commend him in his continued patience with you, for you surely do not fully read to understanding before you attack your keyboard. you have added a negative element to a wonderfully funny thread that was meant to delight and entertain. i personally find this disrespectful to the thread and to the author.

carragh
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EVER IN SEARCH OF THE WICKERMAN...

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Postby Azrienoch » 07 Mar 2004, 07:21

Agree or disagree? Nighthawk, from what I hear, there's not too terribly much that you search for and find on your own.
Everyone's entitled to an opinion, let alone the contribution to a fantastic comedy.

Guest

Postby Guest » 07 Mar 2004, 12:53

Carragh & Azrienoch ~

Thanks very much for your comments! It is true the entire thread was meant for rollicking entertainment.

We cannot know everything about folks who post to the Board. Sometimes a negative comment may have nothing to do with intentionality, but rather with various difficulties in using the message board format. I know this to be true in several particular cases.

I think Night Hawk has a good heart.

Peace,
Oak

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Postby LadyMoonChaser » 07 Mar 2004, 14:32

.......And as Cleo is back resting comfortably on her barge, she chuckles to herself & thinks, " Such irony, that the delightful comedy, 'Bardic Duel in the Druid's Head' should end as a tragedy with a real Bardic duel!!.......and they call this place Hell?"

Still chuckling and in quite a good mood, after the fun time she had with the girls & guys, she rolls over and snaps her fingers to summons her new purple eunuch, "Oh Barney, be a dear, come massage my back, and could you bring me a gin and tonic, I'm feeling a bit parched."



:-D :-D :-D
Love to All :peace:

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Postby Cougar » 08 Mar 2004, 02:46

Yes,That whole thing was incredibly funny!!
Carragh,was kind enough to give me some background,on the characters..(all good)...which made it even more enjoyable!
I am just a little perplexed,and well...dissappointed it ended!?
I mean...Breo is STILL at the bar!! :lol:

Cougar

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Postby Piastra » 08 Mar 2004, 03:44

fear not my great feline friend, there is always more of this. it will rise to the surface of the board like cream, but it takes time. in the meantime, there is a plethora of like creativity just waiting for many to come and read at the foggy duck (which was where most of this all started anyway).

carragh
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EVER IN SEARCH OF THE WICKERMAN...

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Postby Flidais » 08 Mar 2004, 09:27

This has been a fantastic tale, I have really enjoyed every bit, congratulations to all you wonderful and talented bards :champ:
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Summer ends in gowns of gold and Red
Diamond encrusted webs
add sparkle to her aging eyes.
One last dance before sleep over takes her
and visions of green fill her dreams.

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Postby Eventide » 08 Mar 2004, 22:34

Most excellent fun guys :grin:

Can't wait for your next adventure. (on a new thread of course) :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:


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