Pub Crawl: Crow, and the last assignment

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mandahr
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Postby mandahr » 13 Oct 2004, 18:10

Mandahr grumbled as he wondered what further use this inane group would have for the big smelly rhino.

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Postby Caritas » 13 Oct 2004, 19:00

Caritas ambled back in through the front door on the heels of a grunting and snuffling rhino who appeared quite agitated. No more of this popping in and out in clouds of smoking incense, no sirree Billy Bob!

Unfortunately, the scene within the rooms she could see made no sense. Closing her eyes, shaking her head, reopening her eyes did not help. It was a cross between Dante's Inferno and something once called a love-in. A gorgeous snake was making its way out of the elevator shaft at the far side of the room with a book clutched in its coils.

She paused and asked the nearest person who they might be.

"I am the Evil Green Druid," she was told. Caritas looked at the figure sceptically and said, "you may be evil, but you most certainly are not green. Do you know anything about what is going on here?"

Suddenly some loud and painful groans were heard from the corner of the room where some attempt at healing appeared to be taking place. Caritas laid her hand on the rhino's back and guided him over to that part of the rooms.

In the meantime, three wolves walked into the building, sat down, and began to howl....
It is precisely because our present life is so inseparably linked with desire that we must make use of desire’s tremendous energy if we wish to transform our life into something transcendental.  -Lama Thubten Yeshe

There are two ways to look at life. One is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is. -Albert Einstein

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Postby Billy Joe Bob » 13 Oct 2004, 19:13

Billy Joe Bob was at a complete loss to explain what had happened to him. He looked at himself in a mirror, and he looked the same, but somehow whenever he spoke now, instead of his usual dignified and manly voice, he heard a woman speaking with an annoying Yankee accent.

Just as Crow pushed the UP button on the elevator, Billy Joe Bob heard an explosion and a scream. While everyone else ran for the elevator, the Texan took the stairs, and raced to the top floor. Breathlessly, he pulled open the door and took in the scene. The first thing he saw was a shattered laboratory, with Sorchael and Crow leaning over Merlyn, who had smoke coming from his scorched robes. The first thing he heard was the howling of wolves. The next thing he saw was a snake, and it was slithering right at him.

Billy Joe Bob’s brain told him to scream, “RATTLER! Somebody get me a gawdamned hoe so I can kill this sonuvagun.” But what came out was a feminine “Eeeeeeek!”

Embarrassed at the sound of his own voice, the Texan turned on his heel and raced back down the stairs, his cowboy boots echoing loudly as he descended. In his haste, Billy Joe Bob went right past the ground floor and continued down the stairs until he reached the basement. Yanking open this door, he saw the building’s boiler, with large steam pipes coming out of it and headed out at all angles. There was nothing here but the sound of machinery.

Billy Joe Bob crept around the poorly lit basement, looking for an escape. The money here at the incense factory had been good, but things were getting a little strange, and he was thinking that the time might be right for a return to The Great State. Then he heard voices.

Tiptoeing as quietly as he could, Billy Joe Bob came to an intersection of hallways and peered around the corner. “Well there’s that Mandahr feller,” he thought to himself, “the one with horn growin’ outa his noggin. But who’s that with him?”

Billy Joe Bob saw a hooded and cloaked figure walking behind Mandahr, and she seemed to be prodding him along with a goad. And being dragged along on a leash, which had been hooked to her collar, was Kat Lady.

“Well that don’t look right,” the Texan said to himself. He decided to stay where he was for safety’s sake, but he’d yell and let the cloaked figure know that he or she had been observed.

In his mind, he yelled “Hey, what in tarnation are ya’ll doin’ up thar? Hey you, yeah you in the crazy outfit, what are you doin’ to Kat Lady and to that rhino feller? You leave them alone, ye hear, or ye’ll have Billy Joe Bob walkin’ up one side of ye and down the other.”

But what came out, in a high-pitched, jingle-bell voice was, “Excuse me, youse guys, but could you please tell me what activity you are pursuing? Yes, it is you, the one in the lovely green robe who I am addressing. You’re not hurting Kat Lady or Mandahr, are you? Kindly suspend that activity, or I shall be forced to intervene.”

Billy Joe Bob’s face glowed red at hearing what had just come out of his mouth, but he grew ashen as the green-cloaked figure stopped, then slowly turned to face him. The Texan’s boots felt rooted to the floor as the figure started walking toward him. He wondered what would happen next …

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Postby EarthWard » 13 Oct 2004, 19:16

While others may have seen a different sight, when EarthWard looked up he saw nothing but the most beautiful lady with a glowing white smile that he had ever seen.
Her eyes zerod in on him for she knew he would easily fall under her spell
"Hello" she said "I saw the ad for Dragon's blood incense and since it is getting close to Halloween I thought I would pick some up as an offering for the ancestors."
"Oh my. What a great idea! Or you well verse in the usage of Dragon's blood?" said a completely star struck EarthWard
"I don't know that much. I mean it is not like a was grand student of Herbology at the school of Avalona." I faint blush rose in her checks "But I would love to learn more about Dragon's blood."
"What luck!" EarthWard said "I am to do a lecture tomorrow at the Millium Tree where I will talk all about Dragon's blood and its usage over time. For example did you know that it could be used to cure syphilis?" As soon as he said it he wished he could take it back. Syphilis was not the best thing to talk about on a first meeting.
"Interesting. Do you know this from experience?" The woman, Green Druid but there was nothing green about her to his eyes, said in a teasing tone.
"No. No. Just a little history. So will you be there tomorrow?"
"You bet I will." She said with a wink and turned to leave.
When she was a ways out of the store EarthWard jumped up and clicked his heals together.
"Oh man did ya' see her! That was the most beautiful woman I had every seen!"
"I don't know EarthWard. Something about her seemed a little strange" said CelticDoa
"Ah hush up! You are just jealous because she likes me!" EarthWard was taking an unusually harsh tone with his friend.
"I agree" said Kat Lady "Something didn't smell right about her."
"Shut-up all of you! She likes me and that is all there is to it. Now I got to go and get ready for my lecture."
"What about Merlyn?!? We have to help him." The group said but it was too late. EarthWard was already out the door.
Everyone looked at each other with a worried expression. Something was not right.
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Postby Crow » 13 Oct 2004, 20:54

Meanwhile, far above on the 13th floor, Merlyn was starting to regain his senses. Crow wrote feverishly in his reporter’s notebook as the druid spoke.

“Sorchael and I have been watching this place for weeks. The Green Druid is an evil sorceress, and she’s slowly been gathering the ingredients she needs to make a deadly spell. As you all know, Samhuinn is drawing near, and already the veil is thinning. When the veil is at its thinnest, on Samhuinn Eve, Green Druid is planning on casting her spell, which will split the thin veil asunder, and through the torn veil, into our reality, will spill the putrid spirits of all the lawyers who have passed to the Otherworld.”

The druid picked up the book that had been brought to him by Colm, and flipped through its pages. He then continued. “She needed bits and pieces from all of us, which is why she placed an ad in the newspaper, bringing us all here. Gradually she collected what she needed, such small bits that probably none of you even felt that she’d taken anything. Here, I’ve got it written down:

“From Sorchael, three hairs.
From EarthWard, a fingernail.
From CelticDao, saliva swabbed from inside his flute.
From Branbeith, the leaf of a birch tree.
From Colm, a snake scale.
From me, oil from a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
From Moon Cloud, pure rainwater.
From Crow, a feather.
From Draghkar, a few skin cells from a bat wing.
From Selene, orange essence.
From Caritas, a piece of clay.
From Billy Joe Bob, essence of cow manure.

“She lacks only three more ingredients, and I fear that she already has two of those in her possession. She needs three drops of cat urine, and an ounce of ground rhinoceros horn. To this mixture, she will add fresh sap from the dracaena draco, also known as the millennial dragon tree, which is located in Icod, Tenerife. From there, she will cast her spell, the veil will be torn, and dead lawyers will flood the land.

“Companions,” spoke Merlyn again. “We have a decision to make. Should we try to find Kat Lady and Mandahr, or should we travel directly to Tenerife and try to foil The Green Druid from there?”

Grim faced at the choices before them, the companions talked among themselves, trying to reach a decision.

Crow continued to write in his notebook, his hopes dashed that this would be an easy final assignment. Once again, he knew, he was headed into the deepest danger.

But now he looked up, because it appeared that a decision had been made. Whatever it was, he was sure he wouldn’t like it …

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Postby CelticDao » 13 Oct 2004, 21:52

As everybody was growing serious, CelticDao started to chuckle...

"Friends," he said, "we have a safety net."

Remember when I was talking about that Sex Slave Spell I got from a Dyslexic Druid, where you had to keep invoking the doG, and how it had "Ashes, the Warrior King of the Univers..."

Just then Moon Cloud cut in. "Stow it Dao, we know all your dog's titles. Cut to the chase!"

Oh! Dao bubbled...

That Dyslexic Druid, was none other than the enchantress that just left us! Guess what? She's got an error in her ingredient list!

Fearing she might have left a spy behind, CelticDao didn't say WHAT the error was, but he just smiled, as he pulled some leaves from a pocket, and began chewing them...

"I'll be back in a bit" he said, as he sat on the floor, and his face went blank...
Last edited by CelticDao on 13 Oct 2004, 22:46, edited 1 time in total.
Namasté Y'all.
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Postby Underground River » 13 Oct 2004, 22:15

GreenDruid laughed in scorn at Merlyn's error. The wizard was totally wrong about dead lawyers flooding the world. GreenDruid knew the plague of spirit creatures would be far worse than any lawyers. It would in fact be a plague of all evil spirits, that vast majority of which would not be lawyers. There would be mass murderers as well as every other kind of evil in the world times one million! GreenDruid knew this would be a small price to pay for becoming immortal. She knew all the trees would finally listen to her, and all the people spirit or not would allow her to rule them since she would be the only immortal soul "alive".
Ah, but she had no soul, she thought. No soul at all. My soul is already in the afterlife while my immortal body lives on forever. GreenDruid was satisfied with this. She didn't want a soul, souls were too cumbersome and annoying to have around.
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Postby Ruthie » 13 Oct 2004, 22:37

The group decided that since Green Druid had already obtained the required elements from them, and yet they remained unharmed, to let Kat lady and Mandahr defend themselves, as they were entirely able to do, no doubt about that, and regroup at the Millennium Tree for a Last Stand of sorts.
In the basement, the sounds of their freinds evacuation deeply disheartened Kat Lady, and Mandahr.
"That's right, they're leaving you down here. They don't care about you, they're not even looking." cackled Green Druid, in an attempt to brainwash them onto her side.
"That's not true!" hissed Kat Lady, and slashed Green Druid's leg deeply with her claws.
"You take that back!" bellowed Mandahr, and turned to impale the slanderer.
Then Green Druid, feeding off their anger, raised her arms to make a spell which would capture the will of Kat Lady and Mandahr.
"I call upon the deeee-...."
But she was cut off by Billy Joe Cloud's unholy scream of "Snake, oh my God, it's a SNAKE!"
Colm had followed the scent of Green Druid right down the elevator shaft, and still gripping Merlyn's Book, she began to transform once again.

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Postby CelticDao » 14 Oct 2004, 14:13

A funny thing happens, when you're trying to shift shape, at the same time you come in contact with a Rhino horn. Well, obviously, everybody knows Rhino horns are proof against most types of magick, but in some instances, they act like magickal prisms, or even kaleidoscopes...

The Green Druid began to scream, as she grew scaly wings, then they burst into flames, and just charred themselves off, as her legs disappeared, to become scaly fins... She had turned herself into the biggest Carp anybody had ever seen! And SHE DIDN'T SEEM TO NOTICE!

But she couldn't help but notice that she had dropped Merlyn's book, or that she no longer had hands to hold it, as she flopped on the floor.

Thinking at blinding speed (for a Rhino), Mandahr quickly kept his horn in contact with the slippery fish, despite the screaming protests of his very sensitive nose.
Namasté Y'all.
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Postby Ruthie » 14 Oct 2004, 20:05

As they exited the incense factory to defend the millennium Tree, Selene and Caritas stopped in their tracks. Celtic Dao ran smack into Branbeith, Kat-storm landed squarely on Earthward, and Draghkar had a mid-air collission with Crow. "Last assignment, my foot!" he cawed, "If I live that long!" He picked himself up from the pavement, and fanned Draghkar with his wing to revive him.
"This is no time for a nap! Get up, you lazy lumps! I heard screaming in the factory!" Selene shouted at the heap on the ground.
as quickly as possible, Earthward, Kat-storm and Celtic Dao disentangled themselves from Branbeith (which wasn't easy as she was transforming into her raven form at the same time) and hurried back inside.
"I think it's coming from over here," Earthward motioned excitedly to the elevator shaft.
"Yes, I hear it now, too," mewled Kat-storm. "But where's the elevator? How will we get down there," and she looked over the ledge, and nearly fell in except for the quick-thinking Draghkar, who gripped her tiny collar in his feet and carried her back to safety.
Caritas and Celtic Dao had run off to the bundles of incense, and were stripping several packages apart. Selene was furious.
"Alright, pray, whatever, but can we please FOCUS! Somebody has to fly down there and find out what all the screaming is! You two, put down the incense and back away. Do you see my pumpkin medallion? DO YOU SEE IT! That gives me the authority around here. I'm a pumpkin-bearer. Now get back over here!" Selene's concern for her friends got the best of her and she lost her temper. So after it had gone, she apologised for all the yelling. "sorry you two. I forgot about the caps lock."
"I'm not going. I'm a reporter, not a superhero," Crow remarked
"But I'm just little, and anyway, I'm afraid of heights," Draghkar peeped as he backed away
"ya want somethin' done, ask a woman," screeched Branbeith, and just as she crouched to spring down the shaft, Celtic Dao and Caritas reappeared, playing flutes they had constructed from the small incense stick mailing tubes.

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Postby Billy Joe Bob » 14 Oct 2004, 20:20

When Green Druid turned on her heel and started walking toward Billy Joe Bob, her intention had been to turn herself into giant tarp and so enfold the Texan in her clutches. But when she turned about, her arm came into contact with the rhinoceros horn just as she cast the shape-shifting spell, and instead of a tarp, she became a carp and was now flopping on the ground while Mandahr gamely worked to keep his horn in contact with the fish.

Kat Lady, feeling the lessening pressure on her leash, turned and saw the fish, and as all cats are wont to do when they see fresh seafood, leaped at it and bit off its head.

Billy Joe Bob raced toward the action, but after just a few long strides he halted again, for what he saw now was even worse than before.

Green Druid was not so easily defeated. As Kat Lady munched on the fresh carp head, the spirit of the evil sorceress entered Kat Lady’s body, and she thus became possessed and ensnared. The Kat creature now with a greenish tint to her fur, rose to her full height on hind legs, and taking the leash that still dangled from her collar, she bridled Mandahr with it, climbed aboard him, turned his head and advanced slowly on the quaking Texan.

Mandahr, his eyes rolling with fear, could do nothing but obey the pressure of the bridle, not to mention the claws of his rider, which were being used like spurs.

Billy Joe Bob, in his jingle-bell Moon Cloud voice, said, “Excuse me, Green Kat Druid, but I am a Texan, and I’m sure that you have heard the story about the Alamo, and you might reconsider if it is your intent to do harm upon my person.”

But Green Kat Druid just laughed and said, “Yes, the Alamo, as I recall, all the Texans there were killed, and so it shall be with you, you hopeless galoot. But not yet, I have plans for you, too.”

And so Green Kat Druid cast another spell, the Texan was struck dumber, and she pulled his helpless body across the rhino’s back so that he rode crosswise in front of her. She then cast yet another spell, a doorway appeared, and she spurred the rhino into it, where all three disappeared, soon to reappear on the island of Tenerife.

But CelticDao had been right about one thing. Green Druid, now Green Kat Druid, had forgotten about one thing, and its name was Night Hawk …

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Postby Kat Lady » 14 Oct 2004, 21:15

Green Kat Druid quickly tied up both Mandahr and Billy Joe Bob to the nearest tree. Turning on her heels, she stormed away to formulate her evil plan to take over the island...no, the world. Why not THE UNIVERSE???!!! She cackled with pleasure and promptly coughed up a hair ball.

Somewhere deep inside the Evil Green Kat Druid, Kat Lady survived and was attempting to take back her rightful place as the sole occupant of the furry body. However, the Evil Green Druid was too strong currently. What could she do?

The Green Druid portion of Green Kat Druid pushed the Kat consciousness back and again gained control. She then realized that all of the power of Kat Lady was at her disposal, including the nifty 007-like gadget collar. She dug under the collar and removed the castration tools that Billy Joe Bob himself had stored there for safe keeping from his job at Lady MoonChaser's ranch, never knowing when they might come in handy. She flexed the tools, experimentally, turned on her heels and slowly, ever so slowly, walked toward the tied up Billy Joe Bob and Mandahr, laughing her hideous laugh.

Little did she know that Little Night Hawk had been close on her heels. The fearless little hawk appeared before her eyes and fluttered and clawed at Evil Kat Druid's face yelling to Mandahr and Billy Joe Bob, "Gnaw your way through the ropes!" The quiet plea broke through the spell they were under and the two began to fight against the ropes holding them.

Green Kat Druid and Night Hawk fought like...well like a hawk and a cat, neither relenting. Green Kat Druid pulled all she could out of the wonderful collar. But it was no use as Night Hawk was too fast and knocked all of the items from her paws. As Green Kat Druid weakened, Kat Lady began to again take control of her body. Seeing this, Green Druid changed herself into a flea and jumped from the now lost Kat body and dug down into the sand, safe from view.

Night Hawk, not knowing the Kat before her was again the visage of Kat Lady, swooped in for the kill. There lay a prostrate cat, weakend from the fight, not enough strength to fight back the diving Hawk. The last thing she saw was her beloved tinkle bell as she lost consciousness.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.--Mark Twain

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Postby CelticDao » 14 Oct 2004, 21:27

As KnightHawk dove, a strange vibration entered her mind. She saw a green chinese character, and knew it looked familiar. Ah - the river...

She knew this to be an omen and pulled up her dive, at the last moment. The river. The river... What was it about that symbol? OH! That CelticDoa guy! What about the river? Something about saliva! Then she saw it! Doa's Flute! She grabbed it, and shook it. Three drops of saliva flew out the end, and wetly hit the sand...

And then things started rocking and rolling!
Last edited by CelticDao on 15 Oct 2004, 11:22, edited 1 time in total.
Namasté Y'all.
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Postby SpiritHealer » 15 Oct 2004, 00:51

SpiritHealer watched the whole scene from a distance. She knew that it was too late for the Kat and sent comfort to her. She watched as the Hawk took the flute and sprinkled the magical 3 drops to the sand beneath. The tinkle ball jingled in anticipation as the sand began to bloom and enormous lotus blossoms opened petals in the warm breeze. And there among the blossoms was a 400 pound green flea, attempting to hide from the claws of a descending Hawk.

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Postby Caritas » 15 Oct 2004, 04:28

Caritas gazed down the elevator shaft while gamely trying to bring something resembling melodic sound out of her cylindrical instrument. The Green Druid was evil, but the Green Druid was not just the Green Druid - there was a good twin in there - and that was...

"Well, darnit! The river, the underground river! Something's been dumped into it. Something that made the Green Druid evil and something that will kill the Millium tree," she shouted, suddenly aware that the wolves that had been howling - weren't. Everyone standing around the elevator shaft looked around in time to see WolfWalker, Lady Nimue, and Alferian shift into the room.

Alferian quickly disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke, leaving an astonishing array of purple garments lying on the floor. Runes drifted in the air behind him - Moon Cloud and Crow quickly attempted to write them down. Wolfwalker strode to the elevator shaft, looked around for Kaya-Nita and grabbed her hand as he leapt into the shaft.

Lady Nimue handed Selene a bottle of an iridescent potion and whispered something in her ear. Selene nodded, glanced around the room - and ran full tilt at the elevator shaft and leapt in, shouting "Follow Me!"
* * *

Spirithealer gasped in astonishment as Wolfwalker, Kaya-Nita and Selene splashed down amidst the blooming lotuses......

They were soon followed by a motley crew of disheveled and bewildered animals, people, and stuff.
It is precisely because our present life is so inseparably linked with desire that we must make use of desire’s tremendous energy if we wish to transform our life into something transcendental.  -Lama Thubten Yeshe

There are two ways to look at life. One is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is. -Albert Einstein

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Postby colm » 15 Oct 2004, 13:25

Kat Lady felt the comfort of the healing sent her by SpiritHealer and as the light and warmth spread through her she allowed one of her nine lives to slip away. Lithely she stretched and arched her back, ready once again to join her friends and put a stop to Green Druid.

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Postby CelticDao » 15 Oct 2004, 15:23

CelticDao, who hd been playing the improvised flute in the Incense Factory, was a little bit shaken up. Since the evil Green Druid had taken his larger flute - the God flute - he had the strangest sensation. She missed the shorter flute, the sweet, high pitched Goddess flute, and at that moment, a voice came in his mind. A very sexy, feminine voice, that was at the same time, as menacing as any mother can be, protecting her cubs. It was from her, that he had learned that the "magic ingredient" he carried was not SALIVA, but SALVIA - the Diviner's Sage (Salvia Divinorum) he had chewed in the factory (Green Druid's Dyslexia had betrayed her again). When he did, the Goddess had entered him fully, and taken over his body. At this point, he was just a witness to everything She was doing, and he couldn't help but note that she was LIVID, that the mortal Green Druid thought she could just snuff Her lover, Cernunnos, like squashing a bug. Well, We shall see about THAT!
Namasté Y'all.
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Postby Crow » 15 Oct 2004, 17:44

One by one they jumped, walked, slithered or flew into the empty elevator shaft. Crow didn’t understand why everyone was committing suicide, but as a member of the working press – even one with just two weeks before retirement – he felt he should chronicle their deaths on the concrete floor 13 stories down.

Having wings, he wasn't worried about his own safety, so he jumped into the shaft and started to spiral down. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light, and the next thing he knew he was sitting on a sandy beach with all the others, a warm sea breeze ruffling his feathers. Somehow, they had arrived on the island of Tenerife.

“Wait a minute!” shouted Crow. “We can’t just jump into an elevator shaft in London and wind up in Tenerife without some kind of explanation. Who knew that it was a portal, and even if you knew it was a portal, how did you know we’d travel to Tenerife and not Hoboken?”

“Elementary, my dear Crow,” said Selene, her pumpkin medallion swaying as she bent over her laptop. “While all of you were busy listening to Merlyn’s recitation of the items Green Druid needed for her spell, I was busy conducting a Google search. I knew, of course, that elevator shafts are frequently linked to other places, and so I simply punched in the keywords “elevator,” “shaft,” and “portal,” and I was quickly directed to a website, http://www.travelbyelevatorshaft.com. There, you can find timetables and destinations to places all over the world. There’s also a handy list of elevator shafts that really are elevator shafts, and lead nowhere but to your death. But suspecting that this elevator shaft was the genuine article, I simply entered the address, 672 Monarch Way, London, and saw that the elevator shaft at that address leads to Tenerife. Green Druid must have known this, which is why she chose that location to start the incense company. You see, she knew that once she’d gathered the ingredients for her spell, she would need to travel quickly to Tenerife to access the dracaena draco, also known as the millennial dragon tree.”

Of course Selene had not said any of this prior to leaping into the shaft, and Crow marveled at the trust everyone else had shown in her. They had simply followed the orange one without question.

But Crow wasn’t through. Just because everybody else had blind faith didn’t mean that he did. “And where are Kat Lady, Green Druid, Billy Joe Bob and Mandahr?” he asked. “And what about Night Hawk? Anybody seen her?”

“Well, I don’t know for certain,” said Selene, “but I suspect they’re already here on the island somewhere. It’s quite possible that our friends have fallen into the clutches of the Green Druid and they are with her. Obviously, she needs to get to the millennial dragon tree, so it seems an easy decision that we should set about finding it. We find it, we shall find them.”

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, and aside from simply walking off this assignment, Crow had to admit to himself that he didn’t have a better idea. The friends trudged through the sand toward the city of Icod, which they could see shimmering in the distance. Merlyn had said that the millennial dragon tree was located there.

At the edge of the beach was a lemonade stand, and as the hot, tired group was passing by, they noticed the flaming red hair of the proprietress. Drawing closer, they saw that it was Beith.

“TIMEOUT!” shouted Moon Cloud in the voice of Billy Joe Bob. “Hold on just a galdurned minute,” she stormed, floating around to confront Crow. “Why do you have to write Beith in to every single one of these durned stories? She’s nothin’ but trouble, and she don’t hardly never even show up no more to help with the writin’! How many thumbs does she have to bite off before you get a clue? If it ain’t Celtic, she ain’t interested, and there ain’t nothin’ Celtic about this story atall. Now I, for one, don’t want to risk my life again on some wild shoe escapade. Ain’t we got enough prollems already without havin’ her along? She’s nothin’ but trouble, I’m tellin’ ye, and I think you oughta just backspace and erase her outa there right now!”

Beith was out from behind the counter of the lemonade stand in a flash. She tripped once on her stiletto heel, which she had just begun to wear again, the aftereffects of the Tara Hill exorcism finally beginning to fade. She climbed back to her feet and marched up to Moon Cloud and said in a scathing tone, “Who are you to say I’m trouble, Moon Cloud or Billy Joe Bob or whoever you are? If not for me, there probably wouldn’t even be such a thing as Pub Crawls, or whatever you call them these days. I will admit to causing my fair share of minor difficulties, which have always been easily overcome, but at least I do more than drift around wetting myself all the time like some I could name!”

The scene could have turned ugly, but cooler heads prevailed, and now Selene took a few minutes to fill Beith in on all the details of what had happened so far, and Beith explained just what she was doing in Tenerife. It seemed that one of her Celtic Studies professors had a theory that the recipe for corned beef had originated on Tenerife, and he had organized an archeological dig to seek evidence of it. Beith was accompanying the team, and operated the lemonade stand during off hours to help with expenses.

And Beith quickly proved her worth, as she came up with an idea. “You say that Green Druid still needs three drops of cat urine, but that she hadn’t procured them yet, but that she possibly has Kat Lady in her clutches. Now it seems to me that lemonade looks a bit like urine. Now Kat Lady won’t be able to hold it forever, so we have to assume that Green Druid will get those three drops that she needs. But it might be possible for us to take some of this lemonade and, if someone could distract Green Druid’s attention, then maybe someone else could work an old switcheroo with the lemonade, and then the spell wouldn’t work as designed. But first, straight away, we must find Green Druid and the others, mustn’t we?”

The plan was just crazy enough that it might work, and everyone agreed that they should give it a try. Beith filled a jar with lemonade, and they all set out again in search of the millennial dragon tree.

Crow wrote it all down in his notebook, suspecting the entire time that this was going to turn out bad …

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sorchael
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Postby sorchael » 16 Oct 2004, 03:39

Sorchael wandered along the beach, alone with her thoughts at last. She was feeling slightly dazed with all the commotion in the past few hours. Even more daunting was the task ahead - stalling Evil Green Druid. Of course, she had been the most obvious choice since she was the only who would not be in immediate danger. However, she must tread carefully when speaking with the Druid, for fear of her telepathic capabilities. Sorchael was well-practiced in keeping a guard around thoughts that might betray her real identity (a M.E.R.L.Y.N. spy), but it was a task that required a great deal of energy. She must be strong and focused when the time came.

Gradually, her destination came into view - a grove of apple trees. These trees were the homes of the Fay, guardians of the Millennial Dragon Tree. In the center of the grove, she would find the tree, and probably Evil Green Druid as well. She stood still for a moment and took a deep breath, bidding her thoughts (and her heart) to calm themselves. Resolving herself to the task at hand, she started again towards the grove, wondering how her friends were faring in their lemonade swap. . .
“The world is not to be put in order. The world is order. It is for us to put ourselves in unison with this order.”
~ Henry Miller

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Kat Lady
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Postby Kat Lady » 16 Oct 2004, 16:16

Crow looked up from his task of recording the events of the day just in time to move out of the way as a Phone Booth landed askew in the sand 3 feet from the lemonade stand. It was not a normal American style booth, but one of those seen in the streets of London right out of the early 70s. He starred at the booth, shook his feathered head and sighed, “Now what?”

“Not what! Who!” was the reply as the door swung open and out stepped a man in a long black trench coat, fedora hat and the longest multicolored scarf any of the group had ever seen. The strangest part was he seemed vaguely familiar to them all.

Selene, the first to recover from the shock, asked tentatively, “Dr. Phil?”

“No! Not Dr. Phil! Dr. Who-Phil. Greetings! This is my seventh incarnation and as I awoke, Tardis was in alarm. It seems the thread of time is being threatened by some sort of giant green…flea. Not quite sure about that last part. But know that our very existence is being threatened. So I came bearing items that may help you on this quest.”

“Wait just one galdurned minute here,” Billy Joe Cloud shouted. “Don’t y’all think this here story is getting’ a little outta hand, sissifyin’ the good doctor an’ all.” The Foggy Duckers looked at each other questioningly. Then simultaneously shook their heads, and responded:
“Nope.”
“You?”
“Nope.”
“Not me.”
“Me neither.”

With that settled, Dr. Phil-Who handed Beith a glass with a picture of Yoda on it, “Force filled lemonade.” He gave BranBeith a stick, to which she chuckled with glee. And to everyone else he handed some item or other and told them that they would understand the purpose when the time was right. Finally, he handed Selene a pair of ruby red slippers telling her to give them to the new agent of M.E.R.L.Y.N to help her with the journey home. He then turned on his heels, sauntered back to the phone booth, closed the door and disappeared. The group sighed, looked at each other and decided it was time to journey to the large lotus blossoms that could be seen in the distance.

Meanwhile, at the grove of apple trees, Sorchael walked with purpose to the large tree in the center of the Grove. She thought it was a little strange that nothing was hindering her. Not a sound could be heard. She slowed and thought, “Something’s not right in Denmark.” And then wondered why she was suddenly thinking of Denmark and vowed to read Hamlet again when she returned home. Suddenly, before her stood EarthWard. She cried out, startled at his sudden appearance. She looked at him, seeing the love-struck look on his face and the green tint in his eyes asked, “Are you okay?”

The responding smile chilled her to the bone
Last edited by Kat Lady on 17 Oct 2004, 13:33, edited 1 time in total.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.--Mark Twain

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