Here, let me help!I really can't do stupid.
http://tribune.com.pk/story/314160/2012 ... the-world/Of course, some wet blankets insist that the ending of a Mayan calendar only means the dawn of a new spiritual age, but we know that’s just a marketing ploy to sell Deepak Chopra’s new book. Unfortunately, even if the world does end, it won’t be in time to prevent the release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2.
Of course, just because you know the world is going to end doesn’t mean that you know how it’s going to end. So we’re going to tell you:
1-The Great Galactic Alignment of 2012
One of the many apocalyptical theories is that the galaxy will realign and somehow create a combined gravitational effect between the Sun and the super massive black hole at the centre of our galaxy, thus wreaking havoc on Earth. Some doomsayers use the term ‘galactic alignment’ to describe a very different phenomenon, prophesying that mass extinctions are not a random event but recur every 26 million years with December 21, 2012 being the date for the next one.
2-Geomagnetic Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Reversal
Often mistaken as a polar shift, this theory states that a massive solar flare would release energy equal to 100 billion (Yes, billion with a B) atomic bombs and trigger a geomagnetic reversal of the earth’s magnetic poles. North will become South, destroying Earth’s climate, flora and fauna and also effectively changing the title of the next instalment of Om Puri’s East is East series. On the plus side, the Houbara Bustard won’t be able to fly to Pakistan that year and will thus avoid getting shot.
3-Planet X marks the spot AKA Nibiru to you too
One of the most popular theories among doomsday proponents and near-complete idiots is the Planet X/Nibiru hypothesis. This is a planet, discovered apparently by the ancient Babylonians, that has an unpredictable orbit that makes it swing into Earth’s solar system every once in a while. Planet X-ers claim that Planet X/Nibiru will collide with or pass by Earth in 2012, causing…you guessed it…THE END OF THE WORLD!!!! The idea was first put forward in 1995 by Nancy Lieder, who described herself as a contactee with the ability to receive messages from extra-terrestrials from the Zeta Reticuli star system through an implant in her brain. Nancy, bless her heart, was apparently chosen to warn mankind that the object would sweep through the inner Solar System in May 2003 causing Earth to undergo a pole shift that would destroy most of humanity. Nothing happened. The (revised) date for this event is now…wait for it…2012!
The great Nostradamus has spoken, the end of the world is nigh. Nostradamus writes in one of his quatrains, “In the sky will be seen a great fire dragging a trail of sparks.” Nostra-Fans say that this line clearly suggests the coming of a comet almost the size of Jupiter which will pass close to the earth causing the oceans to rise and the earth to shake. Better go buy an underground bunker since old man Nostradamus has never been wrong… at least in hindsight.
5-The Vogon Hyperspace Bypass
Although not commonly known, this theory is quite popular in the ET office. It is believed that come December 21st, the earth will be destroyed to make way for a hyperspace bypass for interstellar traffic. For more information, contact Arthur Dent. Don’t panic.